George Patton said that next to war, all other forms of human endeavor pale to insignificance. General Patton probably forgot, in the heat of military battle, the consuming pain and heartache of learning that a lady friend was leaving him. Paradoxically, this is often also the time that many men realize for the first time that they love the woman who's about to walk out of their lives. Despite that realization, this is often a time when men seem to go out of their way to find stupid things to do, further alienating their sweetheart.
The purpose of this article is to enumerate a few points that might be of assistance to a man who's in the process of breaking up at different points in the process.
1. A breakup is a tragic loss that should be mourned
It's a societal expectation that men not cry regardless of the reason. Crying in front of a woman is seriously discouraged, especially by men. The fact is, though, the bottling up of emotions within ourselves is harmful to our long-term emotional and psychological health.
There should be no feelings of guilt associated with mourning over a lost relationship. When you learn your relationship's dying, you may feel terrible pain and want to cry. Don't be embarrassed because of this - it's natural, and if your girl sees you, well, there's no shame in her finding out about your humanity, is there?
2. Look to the future, not the past
If you're still grieving over your old relationship and hoping to be able to get back together with your ex, you're going to short-change any women you try to get involved with. Relationships can be rescued, of course, and you've got a better chance if you start before they're actually broken up. Has she made specific complaints, identified certain behavior? If she's right, or if you're willing to try to change them to appease her, by all means go ahead. Take a look at your physical appearance as well. Consider some new clothing in a style different from what she's gotten used to. Think about getting a new hairstyle. And make certain you tell her directly just how much you love her and how much you need her.
There exists the possibility that you won't be able to win her back, and you two will break up. If that's what happens, then you'll need to realize that some things, no matter how good they seem, just aren't in the cards. Once you really understand that, you'll be ready to move on. While it's true that you cannot start up with another woman until you've put this relationship behind you for good, don't forget that these things take time. With all the beautiful women walking around, have faith that there are many who'd love to spend time with you - the real question is which one? And won't it be fun finding out? But you had better be certain that you're over the old relationship, because if you aren't, it'll make starting a new relationship almost impossible.
3. Your ex has hurt you - now forgive her.
Our society and our religions teach us the value and the power of forgiveness of those who injure us. Like a genuine apology, forgiveness has the power to heal your own heart. It's important to lift these negative feelings from your heart because they'll interfere in almost everything you do.
Without your forgiveness, even though she's no longer your girlfriend or even in your life, your ex will start to have more and more control over you and your life - even if you never see her, you'll be dealing with an imperfect image you've created in your heart, tied up in those negative emotions. You'll wind up wasting more time and energy trying to forget her.